About The Lizard Vigilante Rockatorium

Welcome to LizardVigilante.com 🦎⚡️

Spotify Gave Us $7.12/Once — So We Flipped the System 🖕 and Built a Merch Empire. 

Yeah, we started as a band. Loud. Broke. Glorious. Ripping through basements, blasting riffs into empty clubs, and racking up zillions of plays online—only to wake up and find our streaming royalties couldn’t even buy us a sandwich to split with our dog.

You ever check your artist payout and see $7.12 for 1.5 million streams? We did. We laughed. We cried. no We screamed into a reverb pedal. no Then we got drunk. no Then we got high. Then we got laid. No... well yes, but then, later in the morning, we got smart.

That’s when LizardVigilante.com was born—not out of strategy, but out of comedic spite and hardcore survival... btw we are Lizard Vigilante and we play Rock and/or Roll.

We sold the tires on our over-insured 1989 Econoline tour van, which was mysteriously burned out near an old train bridge (as is customary) then bought our domain name and 5 dog sandwiches, which was enough to last us 3 a week.. It was the perfect crime except for the tires and about 12 other things. 

We took our homemade album art and printed it on shirts. Then we weaponized our style. Overnight, we went from playing encores for grandma's houseplants to shipping hoodies to someone's great-nephew's hamster (true story, not). And you know what? Merch hit harder than any label ever did.

Now we’re not just a band. We’re a digital microcult (Bill) with better drip than any measly streaming platform.

Every piece we drop is loud, fast, and designed for the chaos kids, the circuit breakers, the punks who couldn’t sit tf still in class and the artists who learned to hack life for survival. This isn’t fast fashion—it’s revenge. It’s DIY dignity. It’s high-voltage, zero-algorithm ideas for people who make noise on purpose. buy it  rip it  burn it up  make it yours

We didn't sell out. We bought in.

And oh yeah, we don't just sell rock and metal stuff. We sell whatever we can get our bloody fingers on! You need other stuff, like power tools, vitamins or coffee, right? Assless chaps, anyone? not sure if we have em. (quick check, yeah we do, for females)

Welcome to Lizard Vigilante—where we turned 0.000003¢/stream into a full-blown streetwear riot.

🦎⚡ Loud clothes. Low royalties. High voltage. Meanwhile, in our spare time(!) we are working on a new album due in '26 that is really going to shake brains up and possibly reach .000004¢/stream!