At Luckless Outfitters, we proudly bring you the hat that roars louder than an ‘80s power ballad — the “I’m Not a Cougar, I’m a Deaf Leopard” cap. Designed for those who still blast classic rock, own at least one animal print item, and refuse to apologize for either.

We created this beauty after one of our designers misheard a conversation at the shop (ironically fitting), and honestly — we knew we had struck gold. Built on a premium OTTO foam trucker, it’s got more volume than your favorite hair metal band and more attitude than a mom at a PTA meeting after two margaritas.

It’s comfy, bold, and guaranteed to make people laugh, stare, or start humming “Pour Some Sugar on Me.” Perfect for concerts, wine nights, or just reminding the world you’re vintage — not expired.

Warning: wearing this may result in spontaneous air guitar solos and unwanted attention from dads who think they’re still cool.